When my oldest two came into out family thru adoption they were 4 and 5 years old. They had grown up in the foster care and were labeled “BAD KIDS” by many that came in contact with them. They were not bad , they were boys, they were active, we were their 5th or 6th foster home in 3 years. They needed consistency, love, structure. They needed a family. One of the first things we labeled as bad words in our house was the use of anyone calling including themselves as bad. We would say to them your not bad kids you just made a bad choice.
Flash forward 6 years those two little chubby faced boys are now 10 and 12 years old and have four siblings under them. Again, we have never used that term “Bad Kid” but just bad choices when the kids have done something over the years. But today the Orange Rhino has challenged me yet again. This time to look at the intentions of my kids when something happens.
For example, yesterday my 10 year old knocked the basketball hoop off his brothers door. The piece would not go back on so he took two nails and hung it on the wall. His heart was in the right place, putting two nail holes in the wall not the best plan. I just reminded him next time ask for help, but I appreciated the fact he tried to fix it.
So, I am off to start my day with a new perspective. Looking at the why before I assume the worst in terms of my kids and the choice they make.